


The Start Of Anxiety

by Nightmaresides (NightmareJasmine)



Series: Not Welcome [1]
Category: Sander Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Discrimination, Hate to Love, Lies, Nightmare Come True, Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rude - Freeform, learning how to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-04-19 00:03:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14224746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightmareJasmine/pseuds/Nightmaresides
Summary: Where was Anxiety in the beginning? He’s here now!





	1. Chapter 1

Anxiety was known to be the youngest trait, but he took the appearance of a teenager for the Mindscape. That is because he didn’t grow up with everyone else, and Deceit kept him away. Anxiety would listen as Deceit would mock other voices, taunt the and listen closer as he would say “We didn’t find him first!”

Anxiety was ten, Deceit and the others were probably in their teens at that time, that meant their host was the same age. As long as Deceit kept with him, he wasn’t getting the energy from the host and he didn’t gain much strength.

Anxiety knew that he could leave anytime he wanted, but Deceit’s words echoed through his head and fed into the emotion of panic. ‘They will not accept you, just give up.’ and the the young Side accepted that fact.

Deceit took care of Anxiety, most days better than some. Anxiety had to admit that he was a good cook, and he learned rather early to not take everything seriously. He didn’t tell him that he knew to take everything he said and make it opposite. Which was a good thing. An angry Deceit was a scary(still silly) Deceit.

Thomas was in his twenties by the time Anxiety conserved enough power and confidence to leave his room, but he had a bit more help.  


“Hello?”

That didn’t sound like Deceit, or any of the others, because of the chipper and frightened voice. Anxiety turned around to see a slightly taller person, he had thick glasses, a light blue shirt, a grey cardigan and he looked like an older, calmer him. Anxiety edged away from this new person, unsure what to do in this kind of situation, trying desperately to remember what Deceit told him…and failing.

“Hi! I’m Morality! But you can call me Patton or Dad!”

Anxiety flinched at the volume, “Hi…Anxiety.”

Patton frowned for a bit, “So you’re the new side we never met all those years ago!”

Anxiety flinched as the older side came for a hug, he didn’t get any physical contact in all his existence. This was…nice, “What are you doing?”

“Hugging you!”

Anxiety tried to pull away but then another voice made someone’s presence known, “Patton.”  
Deceit was livid, “Release him, he belongs to us! He is not good!”

Patton held Anxiety’s head to his chest and his smile got sinister, “Deceit, how are you? This is my new friend, you are welcomed to join us for a good twenty questions!” the happy trait stared straight into the Dark Side’s soul.

Deceit grit his teeth, “Good day Patton.”

He left with a flail of his cape and Anxiety felt lighter than he should, “Come on kiddo, they’ll never bother again. Come meet Logic and Creativity! Welcome to the Thomas Sanders family!”

Anxiety was still in shock by the time they got to the Commons, Logic (who goes by Logan) greeted Anxiety with a curious look in his eyes. Creativity (Roman) on the other hand, “He’s one of them! Patton, you can’t be serious in thinking taking him in! He is evil!”  
Patton gave Roman a look, “Now Roman, just because his clothes are dark, doesn’t mean he’s bad!”

Anxiety sighed, “Well thanks Patton, but he’s right, I am bad. You freed me from Deceit so I guess we’re cool, not hungry so enjoy your dinner I guess. Interesting to meet you Logan…Princey.”

The darker trait left and didn’t look back at the offended Prince behind him, he felt free…but also, hated. He hadn’t even met Thomas and he knew what would happen, just because of the change in atmosphere. Anxiety started a panic attack, and a bad one at that. It was unintentional and by accident, his throat burned. His eyes burned, tears rolled down and he couldn’t breath. Deceit’s voice became loud in his head,“You’re evil, Thomas goes through everything you feel.”

It was an accident, he didn’t mean to have an panic attack. He was scared,but Roman wasn’t having it.  
After the others calmed him down, Roman went straight after Anxiety. Who in return had just gotten over his own panic attack, but Roman never reached him.

Deceit blocked his door, “Roman! Love what you did to your hair!”

“Why thank you! I must pass you to have a chat with our new resident…Doom and Gloom!” he said with a bit of disgust and venom that even Deceit flinched.

Deceit chuckled, “He won’t listen, he’s just like us…if you go in there, then he’ll make it worse for Thomas!”

Deceit watched as Roman grumbled away and knocked on Anxiety’s door, “See Anx? I was right, now since you are with them now I can not protect you anymore. The the boss wants you to know something, Remember where your loyalty lies.”

Anxiety opened the door and Deceit put up a fake smile to the tear stained face, a broken teen. A single nod was all that was given and Deceit stalked away, a terrible smile on his face and he reached the boss’ door. With a single knock he spoke,“The plan is not in motion!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t expect to have fun making this! Part 2 and you might hate me for part 3.  
> Warnings: Deceit is forever present! Emptiness.(let me know if I missed something)

Anxiety remained in his room, too afraid to exit and face the angry fake royal. Why hadn’t he listened to Deceit? Why did he follow the strange mellow side? Anxiety dug his nails into the sleeves of his hoodie, shallow breathing was his only noise.

The only exceptional noise was his pencil going across paper, drawing shapes and patterns. So far he liked creating patterns and working together, or making them different colors using colored pencils.

Purple was his personal, he mixed in red and light blue, with grey and dark blue. His mind was calm and his blanket warm. It seemed that once he was brought to the lighter sides, he noticed that his room was different. It had warm blankets, drawing equipment, and a lot of interesting things that weren’t there before. He kept his cat pillow (Gift from the boss) close to him at all time, but he did move around a bit.

A knock resonated at his door, he was tempted to just leave whoever knocking to their thing. A familiar chipper voice caught his attention, “Hey kiddo! You in there? I got you a little welcome home present! I think you might like it!”

Anxiety sighed, he shakingly got up from bed and stalked over to the bedroom door. Once he opened it, he saw that Patton had lost his smile but brightened as soon as he opened the door. How is it that he can look brighter, just by Anxiety showing his face.

“H-Hi Patton.”

“Hey kiddo! You weren’t sleeping were you? I hope I didn’t wake you!” That face…it showed concern and Anxiety relaxed a bit.

“Nah, I was…drawing.”

Patton gasped, “Can I see!? Please?!”

Anxiety flinched and stared for a bit, “A-As long as you don’t come in or laugh at it. Then I guess you can take a look at it.”

Patton practically squealed as Anxiety walked into his room and returned with a notebook, he looked through and the art was so good! These patterns were wonderful and the colors blended soo well, “Anxiety! This is beautiful!”

Anxiety looked up in surprise, “P-Patton are you sure? That’s still the first page. That's when I started, its better towards the end.”

Patton went through the book, each page slowly getting better and becoming more individual. Though it was still familiar, “Anxiety, I have a question…these pictures are different…but the same, why?”

Anxiety felt the corners his mouth rise, “It apart of the bigger picture, they all go together in a way.”

Patton was starstruck, “You have such a kind smile kiddo!”

Anxiety almost lost his lip curvey thing(smile?), “Patton…What’s a smile?”

Patton frowned at that, Virgil flinched and shrunk back on himself a the older trait stared and prepared for worse. Patton grabbed Anxiety and pulled him close to his chest, much like when they met. This, hug, was just as warm and protective as the last, and Anxiety hugged back.

Patton felt an overwhelming urge to protect the younger trait, but the hug had to be over. He pulled apart and regretted it, the hurt on Anxiety’s face was enough to shatter any positive emotion that Patton felt. He pulled through, “You know Anxiety, I would love it if you would join us for dinner.”

Anxiety spiked (Ha) and the darker trait fumbled with his words, “P-Patton, Roman doesn’t like me and I’m really not hun-”

“Nonsense! I’ll protect you!”

Unbeknownst to Patton, the air shifted and Anxiety heard a deep chuckle. Deceit made himself known, “Awful Day today! Anxiety, Patton~”

Deceit showed up, was Patton…?

Anxiety moved away from Patton, Deceit only showed his face when a major lie was said. So Patton was lying when he said that he would protect him, he chest began to inflate and deflate as he hyperventilated. Before Patton could speak, Anxiety went back into his room to lock the door.

Deceit smiled in satisfaction and Patton wheeled around to look at him, “Oh, give me that look Patton~ It hasn’t have to be a challenge to separate him from where he doesn’t belong. You are fighting a winning battle.”

Patton frowned as Deceit walked down the stairs to the dark area of the mind, where only Anxiety is allowed. Deceit finally lost his smile, if Virgil hadn’t lied about being hungry….the Boss would have had a new snake skin handbag. Patton was going to foil everyone’s plans and the boss was not please, “I must separate…oh~”

Deceit must weaken the bond…and strengthen Anxiety.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Violence, beatings, Deceit, implied blood, if anymore let me know!

Anxiety starred in his first video…and it felt awful.

He wasn’t a bad guy was he? He was from the dark side…was he bad? With these thoughts, Anxiety walked through the Mindscape alone. Patton and the others had stayed behind to help Thomas with clean up, and probably watch a movie like they normally do.

Anxiety was surprised to see Roman standing in front of the door to his room, hand balled into a fist. Approaching the younger side, face filled with a familiar rage that was always aimed at the dark side himself.

“Princy? What-!” Anxiety moved away as Roman’s hand approached him. His fight or flight screaming danger, but he didn’t run. Roman sneered, “You just don’t seem to understand punishment.”

Punishment…a word that Anxiety knew before knowing his own name, “What did I do this time? What have I possibly-”

A sharp slap forced him to close his mouth, He didn’t have time to register what was going on. A booted foot came into view and hit his face, the force knocked him backwards and the boot proceeded to curb stomp him into the floor. Roman spoke with each stomp, “Never…Go…Against…Me! I…Should…Kill…You!”

After a while,Anxiety finally lost consciousness and “Roman” smiled at his work. The royal dragged the body to its place, and grinned down. He chuckled, “If you were a Good Side, then you wouldn’t need punishment~”

Roman walked from the room and cleaned the blood from the floor and move the furniture a bit so no one would notice, then he proceeded to the basement where his appearance changed. A familiar two faced snake wandered to a barricaded door and knocked twice, “It was a failure, he shouldn’t be traumatized after that!”

The door looked like it would blow off the hinges as a terrible laugh filled the basement, something worse escaped the cracks the door. Deceit backed away in a panicked motion, but even he knew that the Boss wasn’t strong enough to leave again.

It was years since the Dark Sides were banished to the basement, each locked inside their rooms. A place where they were to rest, a place where they were safe…now a prison. Though it was unfair to Anxiety to be born here, it was also unfair that he got to leave before anyone else.

Deceit blamed Patton for that, but if they were to do this right…then Anxiety has to suffer. Though Deceit hated to admit that he had a soft spot for the younger side, he hated that Patton stole his son.

The Boss joked about Deceit wanting custody of the younger side, being quite the over protector over the child. If he wasn’t so evil, he would best Patton at being angered. Though it can’t be helped, but in order to gain control…they needed Anxiety.  
=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>

Roman, Logan and Patton arrived in the Mindscape, Patton’s first agenda was to check up on Anxiety but-  
“What HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM!?”

Deceit came marching up to the Sides, holding in a malicious grin that wanted to peek through. Patton jumped and was on guard instantly, “What do you-”

“Shut up! He’s hurt! I went to go check on him and there’s blood everywhere! Is this how you treat anyone who’s different!?” He put in a true hysteria, just so they would believe him.

Patton dashed toward Anxiety’s room, the sight was gruesome and he teared up at the sight. Deceit grabbed Patton and pulled him away, “Until we find out who did this…none of you are allowed to see him. GET LOST.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's my little sister's birthday!

It had been days after finding Anxiety brutally beaten, the darker side was up and about. He avoided them all, especially Roman. Patton had noticed that Anxiety would do anything to leave the room he was in the avoid Roman. Patton was more concern with how before Roman entered the kitchen Anxiety had already broke a glass and frantically cleaning it, he was barefoot that day.

Patton attempted to just talk to him, but it was a fail with Deceit around. The video was even worse, how could Roman cast him as a villian?

Patton's thoughts were stuck on the younger's smile, how can anything with that smile be evil. Without realizing it, Patton took off to Anxiety's room. He only paused once, and heard light sobs from the room. All train of thought vanished as Patton rushed in, the effects of the room dawning on him. He ignored them.

Anxiety was in the center of his bed sobbing quietly, that's when Patton heard a faint hissing. A familiar hissing, "He tried to kill you, they didn't bother to help you, they only hate you, just disappear."

Patton held in his own weak sobs and latched onto Anxiety, who in return stiffen and tried to run away from the unexpected touch. Sobbing louder as he tried to wriggle free, choking as the violator dragged him from his room. His sanction. His place of safety. His self made prison.

Patton pulled Anxiety into a room where they could coexist without the affects of the others room. With the door locked, Patton continued to hug the younger side. Then in a hushed voice he soothed the anxious Side.

Anxiety was to weak to fight anymore, he just couldn't...he needed this and hated that he couldn't bring himself to ask or confront anyone. He grabbed onto Patton's arms and pushed himself into his chest, "I don't mean- I didn't want to be-, I'm sorry."

Patton ran his hand through his hair, which was surprisingly soft, "Shh, you can't help it. You should be fine kiddo, you are good and you don't need to prove anyone but to yourself. I already know that your good, Roman is the one in the wrong kiddo."

"Virgil"

"Virgil?"

"My name...is Virgil."

Patton smiled and pulled away from An-Virgil, "That is a good name kiddo, so good that I'm-"

"Patton no"

"On the Virge of tears!"

Virgil chuckled and hugged him, "Patton don't you ever just Pattoff?"

Patton gasped excitedly, "I always knew you would you'd be on the Virge of finding yourself!"

Virgil blushed and chuckled a bit, "Whatever you say Dadton."

Patton blushed and hugged him tighter, "It's okay my dark strange son, wanna help me with dessert? Logan is making dinner."

========

Roman watched Logan put the finishing touches on his rack of Lamb, It was too early for dinner but Patton liked to make tons of sweets for dessert. Logan sighed and put it away, "Roman, you could be doing something productive instead of standing over me."

Roman huffed, "Why is Patton so concerned about that. That, monster?!"

As though summoned, Patton walked through the kitchen door and a black hoodie wearing side walked behind him. Roman narrowed his eyes, "Why are you here?"

Patton about faced to look at Roman, "He's here to help with dessert and hopefully eat dinner with us!"

Roman looked to Anxiety with his eyes full of flames, "If he eats with us, YOU CAN COUNT ME OUT!!!"

Patton watched as Roman left and the three conversed, the Royal was beyond angry with the others. How can they not see the evil that spreaded within their home, and he went to his room to think.

A hissy voice spoke to him and like a fool...he listened, "Get rid of him...you know how to rid yourself of an enemy."

Roman sighed, "Yes, but Logan and Patton will just try and get him back!"

"Then...take their memories of him. Play him the villian that he is, tesssst him. If that human dies, then he is no good guy." the voice amended sweetly.

Roman took a moment before agreeing, "Yes...you're right."

Roman ran to his emergency phone and rang up James Stallion, "Greetings...Jamesy..."

An older man's voice rang angrily through the receiver, "What do you want Sanders R.?"

"I need help."

========

Virgil was happy, and the royal was true to his word, then dinner was indescribably delicious. He was in his room drawing and smiling, which he found enjoyable, when his room grew cold and darker than usual.

Roman stood there with his sword drawn and a sneer, "I will not let you corrupt our home with your evil."

Virgil stood up in fright, "I-I'm not evil, Patton thinks-"

Roman advanced the darker side and pinned him to the wall, "Patton and Logan will no longer deal with you, think of dinner as your last night with us."

Thats when Virgil's heart snap, they had planned this? Had this whole thing been a way to rid them of him? Why? Though those questions would never be answered, his eyes locked onto two shadowy figures in his doorway and he passed out.


End file.
